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i love life - specifically mine. at the moment i am enjoying its complexity, its unpredictability, i love trying to predict the future, only to be so wonderfully wrong, so consistently. it makes me start to wonder if trying to predict the future is more like creating a version of reality that can now never be, because i tried to lock it down, and it has been used up in my mind. perhaps things could have gone that way if only i hadn’t imagined it, if i had been in the moment, ready to take my cues from the universe, prepared to create it as it was ready to be created.

but i am largely lost in the past or the future, habitually, and only now do i find the present tense is becoming increasingly more important to me. being with the wonderful people around me now, being with myself now, being with nature, the sky above me, the trees around me, the earth at my feet, now. i will to taste my food more, i will breath deliberately, i will be mindful the things that are real, and i will remember that all real things, every single one, is happening right now. it is not real unless it is.

i would like this to become my 1st nature, and that my imagination and my mind could become supportive of the good and true, real moment that is always happening around me, that my awareness of that moment could come first, and my mind could become powerful in it, rather than separate from it, seeking its own ends, with only my limited understanding to build off of. 

i am a vessel of love, and as i let go of understanding the past in it entirety in my attempts to control the future, i become infinitely powerful in my ability to create the present, and to make it good, to make it like one of the futures i might have imagined but better, and real, and right now. 

predicting it wouldn’t have helped, life needs to be done, and i am the only one who can do mine.

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